October 10, 2002 – March 8, 2019
My daughter, Caitlin Elizabeth Cline, was born on October 10, 2002. She was deeply loved and brought so much light into our family.
There are too many memories of Caitlin to count. One of her brothers’ favorites was playing tag with Caitie. Anytime she missed tagging them, she would laugh and say, “I used the force!”
Caitlin loved reading her Bible and watching Pastor Murray on Shepherd’s Chapel. Her faith was important to her.
Our Last Day Together
On March 7, 2019, I spent the last day I would ever have with Caitlin. The day was nothing special. She was getting over a bad cold, and I was catching it. The weather had not shown any signs of spring.
We spent the day on the sofa covered in blankets. Caitlin was worrying about going to school on Friday. She didn’t want to finish testing on the computer because it gave her headaches.
We watched Pastor Murray on Shepherd’s Chapel. She loved reading her Bible.
At 4:00, she wanted toast and honey and to go up to bed. This was our routine. We watched the evening news, then The Big Bang Theory, and then started Moana. We both fell asleep during the movie.
Before falling asleep, she asked me to read to her. I had a sore throat, so I promised we would read Friday night.
Why didn’t I read to her?
The Night Everything Changed
We woke up around 6:45 pm. Caitlin took her 7 pm medications and went back to sleep. She had her normal three seizures that she always had when falling asleep.
At 10:15 pm she woke up worrying about the test again. I told her everything would be okay. She made me promise.
She fell asleep on my shoulder, holding my hand.
I don’t know when or why I rolled over. I didn’t wake up until 6:30 the next morning.
I have not slept through the night since the day she was born.
But that night, I did.
When I woke up, I thought Caitlin was still asleep. I didn’t realize she was already gone.
My girl died right beside me, and I didn’t know.
I promised her everything would be okay.
Missing My Daughter
SUDEP stole my daughter on March 8, 2019.
She was only 16 years old.
She will never go to a dance, get married, or have a life of her own.
I don’t know how to not be her mom.
I miss her so much that some days I can scarcely breathe.
Caitlin will always be my daughter.
-Shared with love by Caitlin’s mom, Shelley